Pain
by Starving For Attention
Summary: [A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints] Antonio isn’t the only screwed up, unloved one in his family. When his brother snaps, every person around him feels the world crashing down around their ears.


**Here's another AGTRYS oneshot for you. But this one's in Dito's point of view. Still focuses around Antonio (and his brother), but just not from his POV. **

**Summary: Antonio isn't the only screwed up, unloved one in his family. When his brother snaps, every person around him feels the world crashing down around their ears.**

**Warnings: It's sad.** **And,** **minor, unspecific spoilers**.

He fell. That's how it all started. I don't know how it happened. I was too busy joking around with Antonio. But the next thing I knew, Giuseppe was sprawled out on the train tracks. And he wasn't getting up.

"Giuseppe! You okay?" Antonio yelled, peering over the side of the cement platform to get a look at his brother. I walked over to join him, and I was surprised to see Giuseppe sitting on the tracks like nothing was wrong. Except there was. I could see him looking at Antonio strangely. Not strange in a way that you would look at a person who had five heads, but... in a way I've never seen before, especially between family members. He looked pained, almost spiteful. I don't know how to explain it exactly, but it was scaring the shit out of me.

"No, Antonio, I'm not," he said plainly, staring straight into the eyes of his older brother. He clearly wasn't physically hurt. I could tell by the look on his face. He was testing us.

"Are you hurt? C-can you get up?" Antonio questioned nervously, still just about as confused as I was. I guess it was kind of a rhetorical question, because Antonio's not stupid. He knew Giuseppe wasn't hurt. But at the same time, the only thing that we could think of that was keeping him on the tracks was the inability to get up.

"I can, but I'm not going to," he answered simply, a sort of insane, malicious glint in his eye as his eyes bore into Antonio's.

"What the fuck do you mean? Get the fuck off the train tracks!" Antonio yelled. He was losing it, I could tell. Right then, every fear he had been holding inside of him had been released in a string of frightful curses whispered under his breath. But none of that seemed to matter to his younger brother. Giuseppe just stayed there, looking back at the disaster he was creating. Oh yes, he knew _exactly _what he was doing to Antonio.

"No," Giuseppe replied, his tone seemingly calm, but his eyes sparkling with a sort of craziness that I had never seen in another human being. It was the kind of look a cat has right as it's about to pounce on a mouse. That's the only way I can think of describing it.

"No?! What the fuck do you mean, **no?!**" Antonio screamed. At first I was a little puzzled as to why Antonio was acting so extreme, but then I saw it. The smoke. A shrill whistle rang through the air, and our fears were proven true.

A train was coming.

"Get off the fucking tracks, Giuseppe! You wanna kill yourself?"

"Tell me you love me," Giuseppe said, slightly out of breath, probably from the adrenaline. He stood up slowly, his gaze still fixed on Antonio.

"What? No, just get off the train tracks!" Antonio yelled, his voice cracking, eyes darting fearfully from his brother to the approaching train and back again. I would have said something, but I didn't. For two reasons. One: I was too scared out of my fucking mind to even squeak. Two: I knew that Giuseppe was doing this because of personal issues, family problems, and that I couldn't do anything about it. He needed to hear those words from his brother. No one in his life had ever told him that they loved him, and it finally got to him. He snapped.

"I'm not moving until you say it," Giuseppe told him, his voice lowering to just above a whisper. Antonio's eyes widened noticeably and filled with tears as he saw how close the train was to his only brother. Now you might be thinking, "Why doesn't he just tell the kid he loves him?" I don't know the exact answer to that - after all, I'm not Antonio - but I have two guesses. One: Like me, he couldn't think straight to save his life. Or I should say, his brother's. And two: He was almost physically incapable of getting those words to come out of his mouth. No one told Antonio they love him. No one **does **love him, at least not in the way he needs them to. That's part of the reason he is the way he is. Love is just an insignificant word to him.

"Get off!" Antonio screamed hoarsely to his brother. But Giuseppe just looked at him sadly before saying one word that sent Antonio over the edge.

"Goodbye."

"**No!**" Antonio and I yelled in unison.

But it was too late.

Antonio collapsed onto the ground, his body shaking violently as he sobbed into his hands. With shaky hands, I tried in vain to wipe tears out of my own eyes before placing a comforting hand on my best friend's shoulder. He looked up at me with bloodshot eyes, and his expression changed rapidly from heartbreaking sorrow to this kind of blind fury. At first, I backed off, because I thought he was mad at me, and you do _not _want Antonio mad at you. Honestly, looking at him, I was scared. I knew what he was capable of. But he wasn't angry at me. He stood up quickly and stormed over to one of the ticket booths.

"Antonio-"

"Fuck!" he yelled loudly, his voice resonating throughout the empty train station, before punching the cement wall of the booth with all of his might. I flinched involuntarily as I heard the majority of the bones in Antonio's hand break. He looked back at me, and I cringed slightly as I saw his bloody hand, still curled into a fist. His knuckles were clearly shattered, but as I looked into his eyes, he didn't seem to care. All I saw was pain. Not physical pain, no. He looked lost, like he didn't know what to do with himself anymore. At that moment, I felt more sorry for him than I ever had.

"Antonio?" I said cautiously, walking over to him slowly. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw his injured hand relax and uncurl. "You okay?" I asked softly, even though no answer was needed.

He shook his head at the ground, then looked over to the tracks, where Giuseppe used to be. "He's gone," he whispered raspily, before turned around and walking home.

**R&R please.**


End file.
